Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
