I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
