ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
