Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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