take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
