this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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