is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
