He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
