on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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