don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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