Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
