My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think I just sharted jello shots
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