I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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