eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
