using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize