I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
