I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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