you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
