im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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