Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
