I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
