he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
