She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize