Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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