Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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