Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
