this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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