College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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