Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My vagina just recognized that song.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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