i was born a porn star she said
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
