How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
