I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
be right there i have to get my cape
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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