every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
