i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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