Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
