wakey wakey hands off snakey
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
