So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
