remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Success! We fucked roommates!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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