Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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