Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
