You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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