then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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