The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
