wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
