I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't deserve a penis
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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