Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
