You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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