Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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