Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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