Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize