The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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