Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
