I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
