I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
