I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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