I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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